Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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