Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize