i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
