I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
