I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
