I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
