i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
