Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
