So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
