I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
