this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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