i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize