It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Randomize
