Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
