I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize