we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
