Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
