i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize