He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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