Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
