Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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