you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
