Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
