And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
