time to smoke my breakfast
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
