Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
