I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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