Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
did i walk over a car last night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
