My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
