Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
