im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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