I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
