I skipped work to stalk him.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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