Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
