Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
