I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
