You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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