Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
