I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
