I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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