my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
