Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
