Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
