let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
