I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
