My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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