I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the day after is always just damage control
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
