apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
