5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
