sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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