I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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