This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
