I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
