In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
