She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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