it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
