...so i touched it.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
