I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
