I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
