Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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