Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
