Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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