wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
