I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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