Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
