So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize