dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
