This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Randomize
