Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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