This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
