Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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