what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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